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Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson

Русский English Magyar

В ролях:

Эрик Айдл
Артур Джексон
Терри Джонс
Другой ведущий
Джон Клиз


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Выходил на:

  • Flying circus, season 1, episode 1
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus" (album)
  • The cast:

    Eric Idle
    Arthur Jackson
    Terry Jones
    Other Host
    John Cleese


    Host: Last week the Royal Festival Hall saw the first performance of a new symphony by one of the world's leading modern composers, Arthur 'Two sheds' Jackson. Mr Jackson.

    Jackson: Hello.

    Host: May I just sidetrack for one moment. This -- what shall I call it -- nickname of yours…

    Jackson: Ah yes.

    Host: "Two sheds". How did you come by it?

    Jackson: Well, I don't use it myself, but some of my friends call me "Two Sheds".

    Host: And do you in fact have two sheds?

    Jackson: No, I've only got one. I've had one for some time, but a few years ago I said I was thinking of getting another, and since then some people have called me "Two Sheds".

    Host: In spite of the fact that you only have one.

    Jackson: Yes.

    Host: And are you still intending to purchase this second shed?

    Jackson: (impatient) No!

    Host: …To bring you in line with your epithet?

    Jackson: No.

    Host: I see, I see. Well to return to your symphony.

    Jackson: Ah yes.

    Host: Did you write this symphony in the shed?

    Jackson: (surprised) No!

    Host: Have you written any of your recent works in this shed of yours?

    Jackson: No, no, not at all. It's just an ordinary garden shed.

    Host: I see, I see. And you're thinking of buying this second shed to write in!

    Jackson: No, no. Look. This shed business -- it doesn't really matter. The sheds aren't important. A few friends call me Two Sheds and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me about the music. Everybody talks about the sheds. They've got it out of proportion -- I'm a composer. I'm going to get rid of the shed. I'm fed up with it!

    Host: Then you'll be Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson, eh?

    Jackson: Look, forget about the sheds. They don't matter.

    Host: (sternly) Mr. Jackson, I think, with respect, we ought to return to the subject of your symphony.

    Jackson: Huh!

    Host: I understand that you used to be interested in train-spotting.

    Jackson: What?

    Host: I understand that, about thirty years ago, you were interested in train-spotting.

    Jackson: Well what's that got to do with my bloody music?

    Other host: (entering) Are you having any trouble with him?

    Host: Yes, a little. Good Lord! You're the man who interviewed Sir Edward Ross earlier.

    Other host: Exactly. Well we interviewers are more than a match for the likes of you, "Two Sheds".

    Host: Yes, make yourself scarce, "Two Sheds". This studio isn't big enough for the three of us! (They throw him out.)

    Jackson: Here, what are you doing? Stop it! [Crash.]

    Other host: Get your own Arts programme, you fairy!

    Host: Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson… Never mind, Timmy.

    Other host: Oh Mike, you're such a comfort.