Blood Donor
Скетч:
Текст скетча переводится, зайдите попозже!Sketch:
Continued from New Brain from Curry's
They walk through and out of shot. A hospital lobby. A line of people are being ushered through. A sign says 'Blood Donors' with an arrow in the direction they're all going. Mr Samson is in a white coat.
Samson
Blood donors that way, please.
Donor
Oh thank you very much (joins the line).
Samson
Thank you. (Grimshaw comes up to him and whispers in his ear, Samson looks at him, slightly surprised) What? (Grimshaw whispers again) No. No, I'm sorry but no. (Grimshaw whispers again) No, you may not give urine instead of blood. (Grimshaw whispers again) No, well, I don't care if you want to. (Grimshaw whispers again) No. There is no such thing as a urine bank.
Grimshaw
Please.
Samson
No. We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it.
Grimshaw
Just a specimen.
Samson
No, we don't want a specimen. We either want your blood or nothing.
Grimshaw
I'll give you some blood if you'll give me…
Samson
What?
Grimshaw
A thing to do some urine in.
Samson
No, no, just go away please.
Grimshaw
Anyway, I don't want to give you any blood.
Samson
Fine, well you don't have to, you see, just go away.
Grimshaw
Can I give you some spit?
Samson
No.
Grimshaw
Sweat?
Samson
No.
Grimshaw
Earwax?
Samson
No, look, this is a blood bank - all we want is blood.
Grimshaw
All right, I'll give you some blood.
He holds out a jar full of blood.
Samson
Where did you get that?
Grimshaw
Today. It's today's.
Samson
What group is it?
Grimshaw
What groups are there?
Samson
There's A…
Grimshaw
It's A.
Samson
(sniffing the blood)
Wait a moment. It's mine. This blood is mine! What are you doing with it?
Grimshaw
I found it.
Samson
You found it? You stole it out of my body, didn't you?
Grimshaw
No.
Samson
No wonder I'm feeling off-colour. (he starts to drink the blood; Grimshaw grabs the bottle) Give that back.
Grimshaw
It's mine.
Samson
It is not yours. You stole it.
Grimshaw
Never.
Samson
Give it back to me.
Grimshaw
All right. But only if I can give urine.
Samson
…Get in the queue.
Continued in International Wife Swapping