French lecture on Sheep-aircraft

Скетч:

Текст скетча переводится, зайдите попозже!

Sketch:

(Two Frenchmen stand in front of a diagram of a sheep adapted for flying. They speak rapidly in French, much of it pseudo.)

First Frenchman: (JOHN) Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français … maintenant … baa-aa, baa-aa… nous avons, dans la tête, le cabinc. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe.

Second Frenchman: Vive Brian, wherever you are.

First Frenchman: D'accord, d'accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pour célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique.

(Transfers his moustache to Second Frenchman)

Second Frenchman Maintenant, le mouton … le landing … les wheels, bon.

(Opens diagram to show wheels on sheep's legs.)

First Frenchman: Bon, les wheels, ici.

Second Frenchman C'est formidable, n'est ce pas … (unintelligibly indicates motor at rear of sheep)

First Frenchman: Les voyageurs … les bagages … ils sont … ici!

(Triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping their arms and baa-ing. Cut to pepperpots in supermarket with off-screen interviewer.)

First Pepperpot: Oh yes, we get a lot of French people round here.

Second Pepperpot: Ooh Yes.

Third Pepperpot: All over yes.

Interviewer: And how do you get on with these French people?

First Pepperpot: Oh very well.

Fourth Pepperpot: So do I.

Third Pepperpot: Me too.

First Pepperpot: Oh yes 1 like them. I mean, they think well don't they? I mean, be fair- Pascal.

Second Pepperpot: Blaise Pascal.

Third Pepperpot: Jean-Paul Sartre.

First Pepperpot: Yes, Voltaire.

Second Pepperpot: Ooh! - Rend Descartes.

(Reni Descartes is sitting thinking. Bubbles come from his head with 'thinks '. Suddenly he looks happy. In a thought bubble appears 'I THINK THEREFORE I AM '. A large hand comes into picture with a pin and pricks the thought bubble. It deflates and disappears. After a second, Reni disappears too.)