Sketch:
CAPTION: Act Two - A Room in Polonius's House
Cut to Frank Bough type presenter. Behind him are sports pictures.
Presenter (Michael)
Hello, and welcome to `A Room in Polonius's House'. Well tonight
is European Cup night. One result is already in from Munich. The
European Cup, first round, second leg, Bayern München 4397,
Wrexham 1. So Wrexham going through there on aggregate. Well, now
it's time for racing, so let's go over to Epsom and Brian McNutty.
Cut to a dentist's surgery. A dentist is filling a patient. He
talks to camera.
CAPTION: Live from Epsom
Dentist (Graham)
Well over here at Epsom, there are chances a-plenty for those
who want to make a good start in …
Patient (?)
Dentistry.
Dentist
Dentistry. It's a well-off suburb, so most people have their
own teeth and surgeries are opening at a rate of four or five a
week.
Cut to housewife in a back garden standing in front of a washing
line with really nasty stained washing on it: some man's trousers with
very nasty stain on crotch and running down the leg; a badly torn sheet
with melted chocolate biscuit stuck on it; a huge bra, with cups eighteen
inches across; two pieces of bacon and a fried egg pegged on the line;
and more dirty washing.
CAPTION: Live from Epsom
Housewife (Graham)
Well, it's only forty-four minutes from the West End on the
train and it's not too built up, so you can have a nice garden.
And the people of Epsom are a very nice class of person.
Cut to a property developer ina main street.
CAPTION: Live from Epsom
Property Developer (Michael)
Well here in High Street Epsom, there are ample opportunities
for all kinds of redevelopment. As you can see (he indicates
old houses) behind me now there are a high level of low density
consumer units, still not fully maximising site value. This could
be radically improved by a carefully planned programme of demolition.
And of course most of the occupants are … er … elderly folks,
so they wouldn't put up much of a fight.
