"Storage Jars"

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Sketch:

(Cut to very quick series of stills of storage jars.)

CAPTION: 'STORAGE JARS'

(Urgent documentary music. Mix through to an impressive documentary set. Zoom in fust to presenter in a swivd chair. He swing round to face the camera.)

Presenter: Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'Storage Jars'. On tonight's programme Mikos Antoniarkis, the Greek rebel leader who seized power in Athens this morning, tells us what he keeps in storage jars. (quick cut to photo of a guerrilla leader with a gun; sudden dramatic chord; instantly cut back to the presenter) From strife-torn Bolivia, Ronald Rodgets reports on storage jars there. (still of a Bolivian city and again dramatic chord and instantly back to the presenter) And closer to home, the first dramatic pictures of the mass jail-break near the storage jar factory in Maidenhead. All this and more in storage jars!

(Cut to a road in front of a heap of smoking rubble. Dull thuds of mortar. Reporter in short sleeves standing in tight shot. Explosions going off behind him at intervals.)

Rodgers: This is La Paz, Bolivia, behind me you can hear the thud of mortar and the high-pitched whine of rockets, as the battle for control of this volatile republic shakes the foundations of this old city. (slowly we pull out during this until we see in front of him a fairly long trestle table set out with range of different-sized storage jar) But whatever their political inclinations these Bolivians are all keen users of storage jars. (the explosions continue behind him) Here the largest size is used for rice and for mangoes - a big local crop. Unlike most revolutionary South American states they've an intermediary size in between the 21b and 51b jars. This gives this poor but proud people a useful jar for apricots, plums and stock cubes. The smallest jar - this little 2oz jar, for sweets, chocolates and even little shallots. No longer used in the West it remains here as an unspoken monument to the days when La Paz knew better times. Ronald Rodgers, 'Storage Jars', La Paz.

Continues on to. . .

(ANIMATION: television is bad for your eyes.)

Voice Over

(and CAPTION:) 'THE SHOW SO FAR'

Cut to a man sitting at a desk with a script.

Mr Tussaud

Hello, the, er, show so far…well it all started with the organist losing all his clothes as he sat down at the organ, and after this had happened and we had seen the titles of the show, we saw Biggles dictating a letter to his secretary, who thought he was Spanish, and whom he referred to as a harlot and a woman of the night, although she preferred to be called a courtesan. Then we saw some people trying to climb a road in Uxbridge. And then there were some cartoons and then some lifeboatmen came into a woman's sitting room and after a bit the woman went out to buy some cakes on a lifeboat and then a naval officer jumped into the sea. Then we saw a man telling us about storage jars from Bolivia, then there were some more cartoons and a man told us about what happened on the show so far and a great hammer came down and hit him on the head. (he frowns) I don't remember that? (a big hammer hits him on the head)

Quick cut to 'It's' man.

It's Man

Lemon curry?

Continues to The Cheese Shop